As soft and sweet as the kiss of a gummi bear.

You generally reserve your kisses for people you really, truly care about. And when the two of you finally lock lips, it's tender, sweet and fit for a greeting card. If your kiss was a photograph, it would be in soft focus. If your kiss was a hot dog, it would be a vegetarian hot dog. Everyone you kiss loves your kisses, because they're better than sweet iced tea on an August afternoon.

You keep it real smooth, all James Bond-style. The suave, international hotties will love you.

You're sophisticated, mature, and you've got fairly expensive tastes. (And your personal hygiene? Outstanding.) Just be careful not to get too carried away. Big, bold romantic gestures are sexy and all, but there's something to be said for sharing a laugh or dancing in the rain. (As long as you're not wearing any suede.)

Intense, fiery heat that could land someone in the emergency room if they're not careful.

Daaaaamn, you got some heat. It's the kind of heat that begs for air conditioning. The kind of heat that weathermen warn you about and your mom won't let you go outside in unless you're wearing sunscreen and a wide-brimmed hat.

How'd you get so hot? Well, it's probably your hot attitude, your semi-filthy mind, your love to party and your sexy sense of adventure. Or it could just be a faulty thermostat. Either way, yowza!!

Your extreme level of hotness is distracting and offensive to everyone.

Seriously. You're so hot that it makes your friends vomit out of jealousy and strangers drool out of animal lust. Invest in some burlap sacks before everyone you know turns into drooling, vomity messes. Or maybe just invest in some mops.

And don't forget to thank your mom and dad for making you so gorgeous. They did good.

Look out, world -- there's a tiger on the loose.

Love is okay and all, but when it comes to dating, lust is what dominates your life. Relationships are nice but they're not the end-all and be-all for you. You'd rather have the chance to date multiple people at once and make out with all of them (one at a time, we hope).

We admire your resolve and your keen animal instincts. But as fun as a life of lust can be, don't be afraid to get romantic sometimes, too. It can give you a chance to catch your breath between make-out sessions.

When you see something you like, you're not afraid to reach out and grab it. Literally.

Being touchy-feely is by far the most effective means of letting someone know you're interested. Well, interested in fondling them, at least. If you want to let them know that you like them in a deeper way, we recommend trying something a little more subtle...which would be, oh, just about anything. Maybe you should offer them half of your sandwich or something.